“I believe in Theta Chi, its traditions and its ideals. Born of
sturdy manhood, nurtured by resolute men... It inspires true friendship…” – Excerpt
from the creed of Theta Chi Fraternity.
When most
people hear the above quote, they might let their minds wander to the place of
“fratland,” where jocks thrive, shirts never possess sleeves, and men do
nothing but chug beer and berate women. Let’s
take a few steps back. On December 5,
1776, the first Greek letter society emerged at the College of William and Mary
in Williamsburg, Virginia (History & Traditions, n.d.). Phi Beta Kappa was founded by five students
and introduced the early stages of fraternal values: an oath of secrecy, a
badge, mottoes in both Latin and Greek, a code of laws, and an elaborate
initiation ritual (Phi Beta Kappa, n.d.). Fraternities have existed ever since,
and are built on a system of values designed to enrich a man’s collegiate
experience, provide leadership skills, and offer brotherhood to its members. Membership in fraternities is considered
lifelong, where members are encouraged to stay involved and connected with
their brothers for a lifetime. Some
could argue that a social construct of masculinity shapes the way fraternity
men interact and connect with one another.
How does this affect the brotherhood that these organizations were
founded on?
First things
first, I don’t want to categorize, make assumptions, or make any sweeping generalizations
about fraternities. The truth is, most
fraternities really do pride themselves on their brotherhood. Additionally, I’m sure that the majority of
men make meaningful relationships with the other members of their organization
that last well beyond their collegiate years.
But the fact of the matter is, masculinity today creates a huge stressor
on fraternity men to behave, speak, and interact in certain ways. We see
masculinity in many different forms in college-aged males. Michael Kimmel (2008) talks about the
“initiation” into manhood in his book Guyland as being characterized by
excessive drinking, lying about sexual partners, and lots of locker room talk
(Kimmel, 2008). We all have our own opinions
of what masculinity looks like: typically the answers revolve around an
inherent lack of emotion, stubbornness, dominating the situation, never acting
like a “girl;” the list goes on. But is
any of this necessarily positive? In
speaking with Lucas Schalewski, a residence life professional at Indiana
University who has studied college men and masculinity, described positive
masculinity as great personality traits that he believes to be important:
courage, loyalty, leadership, kindness, inclusivity, vision, and strength (L.
Schalewski, personal communication, September 12, 2013). But what he sees on his campus falls far
short from a vision of positive masculinity.
Baird’s Manual
of American College Fraternities, a handbook published in 1879, has the motto
“the fraternity makes men,” (as cited in Yeung, Stombler & Wharton, 2010). Perhaps one of the largest groups of “victims”
of this masculinity battle are fraternity men.
I see it every day on my campus at the University of Maine. Men feel the pressures from men in other
fraternities, men in their own organization, and even sorority women, to be the
perfect picture of a fraternity man: smart, athletic, charismatic, and career-focused. Fraternity men have an especially vigorous
demand placed on them to be the epitome of masculinity. Unfortunately, some of these demands of
living up to a masculine façade can have a negative impact on living out values
and promoting brotherhood. Let’s face
it: some members of society might be a little surprised to see a group of
college men hugging while sporting their Alpha-Alpha-Alpha t-shirt, right? Why is not that a norm that is associated
with fraternal organizations?
“Masculinity is a constant test – always up for grabs, always
needing to be proved.” – Kimmel (2008)
Fraternities
were founded originally for brotherhood.
They were designed to offer camaraderie and help men make meaningful
relationship with their college peers.
According to Yeung, Stombler, and Wharton (2010), “college fraternities
construct their brotherhood through rituals, secrecy, and most important, an
ideology that adopts a familiar metaphor by emphasizing brothers’ lifelong
commitment to one another,” (p.
156). However, Davis, LaPrad & Dixon
(2010) describe that male bonding currently can be described as activity
sharing: watching sports, working out, and avoiding emotional sharing. How is this promoting brotherhood? O’Neil &
Crapser (2011) described 4 patterns of gender role conflict that men typically
face, and one of which is restrictive affectionate behavior between and amongst
men. Similarly, according to Capraro
(2010), recent research suggests that the typical male socialization patterns
often employ shame to shape behaviors and attitudes. Are men just shaming each other to get the
results they want? It reminds me of Jason
Laker’s (2003) concept of “bad dogging” young men who are engaging in negative
behaviors: we never come from a place of concern when we’re caught in the heat
of the moment. I think that a lot of
this stems from masculinity overriding one’s sense of reflection. Normative male alexithymia is defined as the
inability for me to put feelings into words or be aware of them (Ludeman,
2011). The fact that there is even a
definition for men not being able to articulate their emotions says that
masculinity definitely has something to do with this issue.
“…Grant Thy wisdom to our leaders, and guide us in
all our deliberations and transactions that the true spirit of brotherhood may
be manifest in our every thought, word and deed. Bless the brothers of our Bond wherever they
may be, and deepen our love for each other, and quicken our sense of duty to
Thee.
To Thee, our Lord and God, be all honor, praise and glory, for ever and
ever.” – Excerpt from Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity open ritual
Brotherhood events, initiation
activities, and philanthropies could arguably be viewed as constantly supplemented
with alcohol. David Bogenberger was one
such victim. On November 2, 2012, the
evening after his fraternity’s initiation ceremony, Bogenberger was found dead
of cardiac arrhythmia brought on by alcohol intoxication (Rozek, 2013). According to studies, 75% of fraternity
members engage in heavy drinking as opposed to the 49% of unaffiliated male
students (Kimmel, 2008). Kimmel believes that initiations
are “all about masculinity” (Kimmel, 2008).
We would like to think that true meaningful
brotherhood exist on its own without the pressures of masculinity interfering
or without alcohol being used, but can it really? Capraro (2010) suggests
that men binge drink to fulfill one of two voids in their life: first to
conform to traditional masculinity, and second to avoid being perceived as
inadequate from other men and society.
The constant stress on being a powerful “manly man” to fraternity men could
very well be driving the brotherhood activities and rituals they are partaking
in. But why?
We learn through life that one of
the best ways to make a friend is to be a friend. Let’s look at the fraternity new member
process. Immediately when the words
“fraternity pledge” come to mind, most people could immediately let their minds
go to a place darkly crowded with conceptions of hazing and brutal treatment. According to a study done at the University of
Maine, 73% of those in fraternities and sororities are reportedly hazed each
year (Kimmel, 2008). In Guyland, an interview
is described regarding a hazing situation and a group of “pledges” at a
Michigan State fraternity house:
“We’d line ‘em up at all hours,
yell at them for a while, quiz ‘em on chapter history, lore, and make sure they
memorized all the brothers’ names, hometowns, majors, and favorite beers. Like who cares, really? Dumb shit like that,” (Kimmel, 2008, p. 112).
Greek organizations have
unfortunate reputations of hazing their members, and what’s worse, the images
we see portrayed in the media only continually highlight and exaggerate the
percentages and extreme situations that come about. So what causes the desire to haze a member of
an organization? Many studies have been
conducted on college men, and much to do with violent, disruptive, or risky
behavior surround the feeling of inadequacy in terms of power in society and
subjective experiences. Men do what they
do to feel powerful. We see it all the time.
I hear the men on my campus refer to their new members as “pledges” – an
outdated word and not in line with current National Interfraternity Council
policy or verbage. The term pledge just
has an almost ridiculed undertone to it.
The very word makes me cringe.
From my eyes, I see the positives
that fraternities do every single day for a living. I see the exceptional student leaders on my
campus taking on roles and plugging into other areas of campus. I see them coming in my office talking about
the issues their chapter faces and having genuine concern for the well-being and
lifeblood of their organization. They
are focused on the operations and not always the brotherhood. I believe this to be almost 99% due to fear
of gender role conflict. So my first instinct is always to ask, “How
are your brothers? What kinds of
brotherhood activities have you done lately?”
Think about the power that a “Walk the Line” or “If You Really Knew Me”
activity could bring to a group to change their dynamic. It’s so easy to get washed up in the politics
of an organization and the demands of societal expectations that you forget the
true purpose of something.
The truth of it all is, it’s
difficult to completely diagnose how masculinity impacts brotherhood in
fraternities. But as administrators, we
can start to question practices that are longstanding and make the wheels turn
in fraternity members’ heads. Why do you
need alcohol at initiation activities? How
is making new members memorize facts going to improve your relationship with
them? Why don’t your brotherhood
activities consist of more team bonding and discussions as to how to improve
your bonds? Fraternities should be a
safe place and a place for positive masculinity to thrive. By raising the topics and facing the problem
in an honest place of care, we can start to help fraternities mold their organizations
to be the “brotherly” places they were intended to be.
This post was written by Mallory Stratton. You can connect with Mallory at on Twitter @MalloryStratton.
References
Caprero,
R. (2010). Why college men drink: Alcohol, adventure,
and the paradox of
masculinity. In S. R. Harper & F. Harris, III (Eds.),. College men and masculinities (pp. 239-258). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Kimmel,
M. (2008). Guyland. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Laker,
J. (2003). Bad dogs: Rethinking our
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