Developing a Positive Masculinity Approach to Fraternity and Other College Men

Developing a Positive Masculinity Approach to Fraternity and Other College Men

On March 3 of this year, I posted a response to Caitlin Flanagan’s “The Dark Power of Fraternities” to the ACPA Men & Masculinities blog. The post briefly addresses a common occurrence when discussing fraternity life in the American higher education system. Media and commentators frequently highlight troubling statistics and pervasive attitudes that exist within Greek Life; a means to devalue the positive and developmental qualities we claim are espoused by fraternities. This often loud and critical perspective on Greek life creates a need for self-preservation. In the Winter 2014 issue of Perspectives, a publication of the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors, Editor Heather Kirk writes:

When the media picks up an incident that seams sensational or shocking, we swing into reaction mode. ‘How could this happen,’ we ask. ‘What were they thinking?’ ‘Not again.’ Just as often, we say ‘But this is a small population; most of the students do the right thing.’ Or, ‘But fraternities also provide leadership and growth experiences.’ And of course, ‘The media is just trying to sell copies” (pp. 3). 

Kirk adequately describes the current state of affairs within conversations regarding the future of fraternity life in higher education. While we listen to external critics with little knowledge of fraternal structure and transformative experience call for an end to American Greek Life, we develop a “protect our house” defensive mentality that does not serve a productive purpose. In my previous post to the ACPA blog, I state:

Let’s stop debating the pros and cons of fraternity life. We cannot sit down with the statistics of philanthropy dollars raised and the number of sexual violence reports and decide on which overshadows the other. Placing a quantifiable value on each positive and negative action to prove our stance is not only impossible, but [also] harmful to the overall discussion.

While I continue to believe that we spend too much time defending the future of fraternity life, I am inclined to clarify my perspective. The often-hostile back-and-forth that exists between various campus and community partners adds little to the conversation. The time has come to adopt a new perspective on our college men. We must recognize that there are men inside (and out of) fraternities who are exhibiting dangerous behavior and attitudes. While not disguising this fact, it is important to affirm that most men are not responsible for such actions, and many college men add positive value and advance the mission of higher education.

In “Affirming the Strengths in Men: A Positive Masculinity Approach to Assisting Male Clients,” Matt Englar-Carlson and Mark S. Kiselica (2013) note that existing research on masculinity is problem-focused, emphasizing the “deficits of and the difficulties created by men” (pp. 399). When discussing the culture of fraternity men in “Beyond Bad Behaving Brothers,” Harper and Harris (2014) perfectly highlight this deficit-based approach to masculinity, summarizing the popular perspective on college men as follows:

They are drunken, promiscuous, academically disengaged lovers of pornography, sports, and video games who rape women, physically assault each other, vandalize buildings on campus, and dangerously risk their lives pledging sexist, radically exclusive, homophobic fraternities (pp. 703).

When addressing men and masculinities, research and scholars often develop a foundation within the deficit model described by these previous authors. During the 2011-2012 academic year, I was a senior Sociology & Gender Studies major at Washington & Jefferson College. Through the senior capstone experience, I was able to foster a basic understanding of and interest in the area of men and masculinities. While fortunate enough to present my findings, titled Eliminating the Gender Gap: Research into Past and Present Achievement Levels Between Students of Washington and Jefferson College, at the 2012 North Central Student Sociology Conference, the entire focus operated on a deficit model. The paper cited decreasing percentages of males in higher education as well as persistence to graduation, lower participation in campus activities and leadership positions, and extrinsic factors as the motivating force to higher education. While the idea of assigning negative characteristics to masculine identity provides a foundation to the study of college men, we must remember that there are those achieving healthy masculinities and engaging campus opportunities (Harper & Harris, 2014, pp. 704).  

Englar-Carlson and Kiselica (2013) assert that our fixation on viewing men as defective has been culturally fostered through historical notions of success and expectations of gender performance. We assigned positive traits to women, inhibiting the productive conversations we have with our male college students. Through socialization, men are bombarded with biases that reinforce a preconceived lack of healthy and adaptive behavior (pp. 401). In essence, we continue to allow the extreme incidents of a few men to blind us from the empowering and productive experiences of others.

How can we foster the healthy masculinities that exist and promotes cultural competency? Englar Carlson and Kiselica (2013) cite a shift in dialogue to allow all men to understand the standards of which they can achieve. Examples of this shift may include the “protector” role. A historical deconstruction of this image reflects power, dominance over women, and physical strength; however, reframing this to illustrate new understandings of traditional masculinity can mean loyalty, responsibility, and courage (pp. 401-402). Using positive psychology, college men counter stigmatizing language with specifics of where and how healthy masculinity has been enacted. When we change discourse from “bad-dogging,” as Jason Laker would describe it, to conversations on what positive masculinity looks like in a community context, men are not felt to be inherently flawed by birth.

It is important to develop an understanding of a positive masculinity approach to college men before applying this theory to segments of the campus population; however, the same concept noted here can be implemented when fostering development in our fraternal organizations. Just as men are not biologically damaged, fraternities are not organizationally harmful. It is the culture of masculinity that has infiltrated these societies and been allowed to persist over time that must be changed. The foundation of fraternities is to bring together men to share in a common bond while advancing unique values. In theory, fraternities provide a prime space to initiate and test the positive masculinity approach. Refocusing the conversation to how our fraternity men have upheld these immutable principles provide a context to the expectations we require while reinforcing praise when healthy masculinities are achieved.

References:

Englar-Carlson, M. & Kiselica, M. S. (2013, October). Affirming the strengths in men: A

positive Masculinity approach to assisting male clients. Journal of Counseling & Development. Vol. 91, 399-409

Harris III, F. & Harper, S. R. (2014). Beyond bad behaving brothers: Productive

performances of masculinities among college fraternity men. International Journal of Qualitative Studies in Education. Vol. 27, No. 6., pp. 703-723.

Kirk, H. M. (2014). Editor’s Note. Perspectives. Association of Fraternity/

Sorority Advisors. Winter. pp 3.

About the Author

Mike Prinkey serves as the Area Coordinator for Student Conduct under Residential Life & Student Activities at Champlain College. While studying Higher Education Administration at Northeastern University, Mike was the Program Assistant for the Office of Fraternities, Sororities & Independent Living Groups at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, as well as the Graduate Assistant to the Office of Multicultural Student Affairs & GLBTQ Resources at Emerson College. Mike is a proud alum of the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity from Washington & Jefferson College.

You can contact Mike through:

Email: michaelcprinkey@gmail.com

Twitter: @McPrinkey

Set Perfectionism Aside

Set Perfectionism Aside

I spent the greater part of the week torn over what I should write about for the Men & Masculinities blog. I had these grandiose ideas of writing something that would change the landscape and contain some groundbreaking original thought. Something that would move readers. I was so caught up in this idea of writing something profound or perfect that it actually kept me from writing. Where else does this happen in our lives?

I see this every day in my own life. We are so obsessed with making sure everything we do is perfect. The never ending quest for perfection is absolutely debilitating. It doesn’t breed productivity, but rather keeps us from engaging and moving forward. But before I making sweeping statements and claim that we all are always striving for perfection, I will say it’s cultural. For me, it’s a privilege I have to strive towards perfection. I am a white, heterosexual, temporarily able-bodied, male on a predominantly white campus. I have been told all my life that I should be creating and disrupting.

I am so afraid that this mission for perfection prevents us from action. And then I realize through my own identities that I also have the privilege to not so anything. I can perpetuate norms day in and day out and nearly never be questioned. I have the undeserved privilege to not even have to say a word. This ranges from the countless micro aggressions I see in person or the conversations I share with students about hetero and sexist norms. I don’t have to say anything.

These perfectionist tendencies leave us always straining our brains or sifting through the research to figure out how to have these conversations. We are left with thoughts of, “what if I say the wrong thing,” “what if this person then doesn’t like me,” “what if I don’t think I am the expert?” It’s absolutely paralyzing. So we are able to slowly back away and not say a thing. We have unreal expectations that there is only one way to make change. We have unreal expectations that there is only one way to have a conversation. It’s time to move the discourse from perfection to good enough. What if any conversation was good enough?

Dr. Stephen Quaye spoke at ACPA 2014 and left a sentiment that brings to light so much of our fear. Dr. Quaye suggests that we should move from being “Perfect to Good Enough.” He went on to say that the culture of perfectionism has become a defense mechanism for the fear of failure. And isn’t it just that? We are so afraid that the conversations we have with our students just might not work. But for a moment, think about one conversation that changed your life or your perspective.

Have the conversation even if you don’t think it’s perfect. Say what needs to be said even if it’s not perfect. Because without even starting that conversation, we perpetuate the cycle. Maybe that one conversation you have will be enough.

How does this relate to men and masculinity? As a white male, this is one of the biggest problems. We need to have conversations with the students we interact with and begin to help them to identify themselves within identities. Be a support for to our students as they begun to understand their identities and privileges that they hold. Empathize. But number one be willing to share the conversation. Because my silence perpetuates white supremacy and patriarchy. We need to guide our students through these conversations rather than hope someone else will bring it up.

1.       Have the conversation

If you can’t complete this, please go back to the beginning and read again.

2.       Seek their Story

There is so much humanity and so much community when you allow a space for someone to share their story. You both have now spent time and energy sharing and making meaning of what their young person’s life is like. You can begin to seek to understand why they say what they say or what they think. We can begin to then understand what questions to ask them in order to help them. We can ask them how they feel about their origins or how they fit into the world of binaries we have created. In particular with masculinity, sexism and our patriarchal society.

3.       Your story is your own

Do not expect your students to be where you are or to understand you immediately. Our nation is suffering from a lack of ability to take another’s perspective. We are surrounded by individuals that have rarely imagined life beyond their very own story. When you are sharing a conversation it is important to remember that you are where you are because you have spent your whole life as you.

But even more, my understanding of masculinity is not the same as one of my best friend’s understanding of masculinity. We must be aware of our identities and how culturally it impacts us all differently.

I know I haven’t said anything profound but I hope we can begin to shift our thinking from perfect to good enough. Any conversation is better than no conversation. Say something when you hear something. Because after all my silence perpetuates white supremacy and patriarchy so you can at least count on me.

About the Author:

Evan Knoespel is currently a Hall Director at Iowa State University. He earned his graduate degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs from the University of Iowa where he served as an Assistant Hall Coordinator. He earned his undergraduate degree in Sociology from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. Evan also previously served as an Intern at the Savannah College of Art and Design.

Dave’s Story: College Men’s Identity Exploration through Participation in Qualitative Research

Several years ago I was involved in my dissertation research project.  My qualitative study explored the perceptions a group of first-year male students had about interacting with faculty outside of class.  Talk about exploding one’s research scope; not only were my participants first-year men, but they were also White, and first in their family to potentially graduate from college.  So, I had a veritable smorgasbord of identities to deal with as I set up the study.  

Each participant sat for three individual interviews, each of which lasted between 45 minutes and 2 hours. One of my participants – let’s call him Dave – was one of my favorites (I wasn’t supposed to have those but it happened).  He was funny, open-minded, smart, expressive, vulnerable, confident, and inquisitive.  His story was one of hardship and success, misunderstandings and friendship, and family love and strife.  “Breaking Away” emerged as the central theme from Dave’s three interviews.  He was from a small town and he perceived its people to be racist, homophobic, and intolerant of most non-Christian religions.  All he wanted growing up was go to college away from home, beat the odds most believed he couldn’t, and be successful in college and in life.  He visited the campus by himself over the summer, registered for classes, and when it came time to move into his residence hall, he did so by himself as well.  I was entirely enthralled by his story.  Months later I could still hear his voice and see his smile as I combed through the transcripts working on a publication.

Long story short, I completed the interviews, finished the dissertation, and ended up moving to another state with my family.  I friended some of my research participants on Facebook later that year, Dave among them.  I suppose we stayed in loose contact over the years.  He graduated and moved far away from his home state.  Every once in a while I “liked” one of his posts or he one of mine, but no substantive messages were ever exchanged.  That changed a little over a year ago when Dave Facebooked me indicating how much he had been thinking about the interviews (more than half a decade ago after they took place), how he wondered what he had said then, and how he wished he would have known then what he knew now.  I was elated about him reaching out and inquired more about his motivation to contact me.  He shared more of how much the interviews meant to him, and how I was the first person with whom he wanted to share more of his identity at the time because I was open to listening, because I wasn’t judging him, and because I wouldn’t share anything with anyone.  He trusted me as a researcher - and perfect stranger really - with some of his secrets. This exchange of messages was eye-opening to me and reaffirmed what we as educators hope for whenever we connect with a student: that we can make a difference, perhaps not noticed in the moment, but over time.  

Since reconnecting, I have interviewed Dave twice on the phone and am interviewing him once more in person in a few weeks when I am in his city.  The focus of the manuscript I will write for publication will rest on self-authorship and identity development of college men through participating in qualitative research.  

I have also since talked with others who conducted similar research with college men.  One good colleague mentioned that during a follow-up study with participants two summers ago, most of the men said the original interviews were among the most powerful experiences they had during their undergraduate careers.  One of the most powerful?!  It is telling that research participation can mean so much to students, specifically to college men.  College men are often at odds with the way they perceive to be socialized by families, schools, and society and how they may conceive of themselves.  The resulting conflict can lead to a host of concerns, chief among them the fear to show emotion or vulnerability.  Yet, the need to explore and reflect on these feelings exists and remains in men.  

Dave’s story, and those of so many other college men who participate in a variety of interpersonal, communicative, or expressive activities paint an image of positive identity development through prolonged individual or small group conversation and engagement.  Not all college educators are trained counselors or may have time to engage in qualitative research with young men.  But the rapport qualitative researchers build with participants is near synonymous with the rapport student affairs professionals or faculty must create to reach, guide, counsel, advise, teach, and mentor students.  Finding ways to engage men in deep conversation or reflection is necessary in coursework, during educational programs, during conduct or advising sessions, on alternative spring break trips or study abroad sojourns, during service learning experiences, or simply in everyday face-to-face conversation.  Research has suggested for years that critical conversation and reflection in one-on-one or small group settings may do wonders for men’s positive identity development.  Over time this kind of engagement may lead college men away from attitudes and behaviors associated with performing masculinity and becoming more self-actualized and authentic individuals.  Finally, men who have been encouraged to engage in this personal exploration and reflection may more easily commit to acting in solidarity with marginalized students on campus and members of society.  So, whether you conduct a research study with college men or sit across from them during a regular one-on-one meeting, don’t underestimate the potential influence a conversation will have on them.

Jörg Vianden is Assistant Professor of Student Affairs Administration at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse.  His scholarship focuses mainly on college men and masculinities.  Please consider following him on twitter at @jvianden.

Seeking Coordinator Positions!

The leadership team for the SCMM had productive meetings in Indianapolis and set some terrific goals for our year ahead. During those meetings, the leadership team has set forth on a mission to move away from a professional development model that emphasizes the five day convention to a more comprehensive 365-day professional development and engagement model. This is only fitting that we embark on this direction in the year of our 30th anniversary within ACPA.

In order to achieve this goal, we are in need of volunteers who would be willing to serve as Coordinators. Coordinator roles are one-year appointed leadership roles that support the Vice Chairs in their work. These are meant as professional development opportunities for individuals to become more directly involved in the work of the SCMM and benefit our group as well as the larger Association. In order to be a Coordinator you must be a current member of ACPA & will be renewing your membership for next year.

This post includes a description of all of the Coordinator roles; please review these descriptions closely. To apply for a Coordinator position or multiple positions, please click here. Applications are due Wednesday, April 30 by 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.

In the next few months, we look forward to telling you about upcoming free webinars that will be available to all of our members as well as opportunities for you to connect and dialogue with colleagues through our interest clusters. We hope that you will be excited about the programs we are planning, and I look forward to having several of you partner with us in these available Coordinator roles to see these ideas come to fruition!

Thank you so much for your continued membership and support of the SCMM!

*To apply for a Coordinator position or multiple positions*, please click *here

<https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Dln94uK6xvUYBDevrkAB0jW4P2sT5leuWMrVU7Hkgu0/viewform>.*

 *Applications are due Wednesday, April 30 by 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time*.

ACPA Standing Committee on Men and Masculinities

2014-2015 Coordinator Position Descriptions

Coordinator for Scholarship Review

The SCMM Coordinator for Scholarship Review works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Research and Scholarship reviewing submitted works to be considered for publication. This individual will review proposals and submissions, provide editing and feedback, as well as assess their value in addressing the needs of our constituents. The Coordinator will also help in the recruitment of colleagues to submit works for publication.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Research and Scholarship

·         Review submitted works to be considered for publication

·         Help in the selection of submissions to be published

·         Communicate with submission writers regarding the progress of their work

·         Publicize written works to Committee and larger ACPA/Higher Education communities

·         Encourage authors to submit SCMM sponsored program proposals for ACPA 2015

Coordinator for Webinar Development

The SCMM Coordinator for Webinar Development works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Research and Scholarship identifying, recruiting, and selecting scholarly presentations for the SCMM Webinar Series. This individual will research individuals who may provide quality presentations, conduct outreach with potential presenters, and coordinate logistics for webinar development. The Coordinator will also help in the promotion of the SCMM Webinar Series.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Research and Scholarship

·         Research and identify scholar practitioners who can contribute to the SCMM Webinar Series

·         Conduct outreach and recruitment to secure presenters for the SCMM Webinar Series

·         Coordinate logistics with presenters for the development of webinar presentations

·         Publicize webinars to Committee and larger ACPA/Higher Education communities

·         Encourage presenters to submit SCMM sponsored program proposals for ACPA 2015

Coordinator for Sponsored Programs

The SCMM Coordinator for Sponsored Programs works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Convention Programs to recruit, review, and select sponsored programs for the annual ACPA convention.  The Coordinator will help in the recruitment of program reviewers from the ACPA SCMM membership and assist the Vice Chair in all aspects of programming for the annual convention, including sponsored programs, SCMM events, and other programs.

·         Collaborate with the Vice Chair for Research and Scholarship and the Vice Chair of Marketing and Communications to coordinate the marketing of the following:

o   Sponsored Programming Proposals

o   Sponsored Programming Closed Reviewers

o   Convention Programming Marketing

·         Implement planning to identify programing reviewers for the Sponsored Programming Proposals

·         Communicate with various programming chairs regarding sponsorship of programs

·         Work w/ Vice Chair on selection of sponsored programming for Convention. 

·         Work w/ Vice Chair to plan and implement Convention programming

Coordinator for SCMM Blog

The Coordinator for SCMM Blog works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications to provide oversight of the Blog (http://acpascmm.blogspot.com/). This individual will recruit bloggers, oversee the blog schedule, assist bloggers in editing, and post blogs. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications & the Coordinators for Twitter, Facebook/LinkedIn, & Graphic Design

·         Recruit bloggers

·         Coordinate the blog schedule

·         Assist bloggers in providing editorial insight

·         Share the blogging information to help engage members across multiple identities throughout the year

·         Assist in live-tweeting SCMM programs/events, as needed.

·         Provide regular analytic data to the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s

Coordinator for Facebook and Linkedin

The SCMM Coordinator for Facebook and Linkedin works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications to provide oversight of these two social media platforms. This individual will provide direction for the strategic use, network growth, and use of these two sites. This Coordinator will also help to launch our Linkedin site. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications & the Coordinators for Blogging, Twitter, Graphic Design, & the SCMM Leadership Team

·         Develop Linkedin site

·         Help serve as a primary provider of resources and engagement via these social media sites

·         Help advertise the blog, publications, articles, engagement opportunities, etc. & help connect users to other SCMM Social Media outlets

·         Assist in live-tweeting SCMM programs/events, as needed.

·         Provide analytic data to the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s

Coordinator for Twitter

The SCMM Coordinator for Twitter works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications to provide oversight of the SCMM Twitter Account. This individual will help engage perspective members, other ACPA/higher education organizations (committees, commissions, etc.) & help. This individual will play a crucial role in engaging members in opportunities, research, events, articles, etc. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications & the Coordinators for Blogging, Facebook/Linkedin, Graphic Design, & the SCMM Leadership Team

·         Engage Membership

·         Help serve as a primary provider of resources and engagement via Twitter

·         Help advertise the blog, publications, articles, engagement opportunities, etc. & help connect users to other SCMM Social Media outlets

·         Assist in live-tweeting SCMM programs/events, as needed.

·         Provide analytic data to the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s

Coordinator for Marketing & Graphic Design

The SCMM Coordinator for Marketing & Graphic works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications. This individual will assist in the design, communication, and distribution of materials created for the SCMM to engage our membership in upcoming events, opportunities, research, conferences, etc. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process. Skill in Microsoft Publisher, Adobe Photoshop, or other software is strongly desired.

·         Work closely with the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications & the Coordinators for Blogging, Facebook/Linkedin, Twitter, & the SCMM Leadership Team

·         Design fliers, communication materials, & additional means of advertising for ACPA SCMM that will be geared toward ACPA Members and other higher education community members

·         Work closely with other Coordinators and Vice Chairs to help create marketing materials for special events, including an annual convention schedule or internal publications.

·         Assist in the design of the annual SCMM pin, one of the group’s largest fundraisers

·         Assist in live-tweeting SCMM programs/events, as needed.

·         Provide analytic data to the Vice Chair for Marketing and Communications

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s

Coordinator for Fundraising & Sponsorship

The SCMM Coordinator for Fundraising & Sponsorship works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Special Projects. This individual will assist in the creation and implementation of fundraising activities on behalf of the Standing Committee on Men & Masculinities. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us creating opportunities to engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process. A strong interest in fundraising and development work is necessary for this position.

·         Actively create opportunities for fundraising throughout the year in support of the SCMM

·         Pursue opportunities for sponsorship or grant-funding for the SCMM to help fund new projects and initiatives

·         Work closely with other Coordinators and Vice Chairs to help support work happening throughout the SCMM leadership team

·         Assist in the design of the annual SCMM pin, one of the group’s largest fundraisers, with the help of the Coordinator for Marketing & Graphic Design, and coordinate the sales of these projects.

·         Work to create partnerships, as appropriate per ACPA guidelines, for co-sponsors of our annual convention social and/or other programs, projects, and initiatives

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s

Coordinator for Membership Outreach

The SCMM Coordinator for Membership Outreach works in conjunction with the Vice Chair for Interest Clusters & Awards.  This individual will assist in the creation and implementation of membership outreach initiatives on behalf of the Standing Committee on Men & Masculinities. This Coordinator is an important position in helping us creating opportunities to engage our membership in a 365 day engagement process.

·         Create avenues on educating ACPA members on how to affiliate with the SCMM

·         Pursue opportunities with other entity groups (e.g., Standing Committees, Commissions, State/International organizations) to promote the SCMM and the work happening within the group

·         Assist the Vice Chair for Interest Clusters & Awards in the marketing of the SCMM awards nominate process.

·         Work closely with other Coordinators and Vice Chairs to help support work happening throughout the SCMM leadership team to promote opportunities for engagement for our members

·         Assist with the creation, implementation, and maintenance of a database of volunteer opportunities associated with the SCMM to get members connected and engaged with the SCMM.

·         Help the Vice Chair for Interest Clusters and Awards as well as the chairs of the Interest Clusters with any specific projects or tasks, as needed.

·         Participate in bi-weekly &/or monthly check in’s