Building Community Through Programming

It was approximately 7:45 p.m. when my supervisor stepped into the busy lounge. It was my first program as a Resident Assistant at the University of Maine, and I was worried that there weren’t enough people in attendance. She asked how many residents had attended the program, and I replied, “Somewhere been 45 and 50.” She looked surprised and said, “This many guys have been here the whole time?” I surveyed the room, taking in the scene she was witnessing.

Two University of Maine police department officers in full uniform were standing with a group of sophomore men, giving them relationship advice while they all shook glitter onto homemade Valentine’s Day cards. At the food table, football players dipped pretzel sticks into melted chocolate and rolled them in pink sprinkles. At the craft table, young men bickered over which scrapbook paper and buttons coordinated best and called “dibs” on patterned scissors. While there were still more women in attendance than men, there was a high number of men who’d attended and participated. She offered congratulations on a job well done as one of the police sergeants called me over to help with a particularly tough glittering job.

I joined a group of men who were intent on crafting the perfect Valentine’s cards, all with the intent to distribute them to a special someone in their lives. While assisting the sergeant, we discussed his two-decade long marriage. He was overcome with emotion while describing his deep love for his wife, unashamedly wiping away tears while painstakingly applying silver glitter to a heart-shaped card. The guys around us listened to the conversation, pausing to ask the sergeant how he made his relationship last so long. He gave them the sage advice to be kind, pay attention to her wants and needs, and to take the trash out without having to be asked before they moved away to decorate sugar cookies.

Left alone we discussed the program, which he described as a success. He asked me how I had gotten so many men to attend, which was something he said he rarely saw. I told him I’d simply asked them to come. Like my supervisor, he expressed surprise that we had managed to gather so many men in one place. I wondered why this was such a unique occasion. I wasn’t told until later by my supervisor and fellow Resident Assistants that it was a rare thing for men to come to programs in our residence hall and other halls on campus and rarer still for them to stay and participate. Apparently, what we had achieved that night was unusual.

As a mid-year hire and a non-traditional Resident Assistant, I came into a community that had already been firmly established. The floor was exploding with testosterone, packed to bursting with high caliber athletes and men who were in the process of discovering their own burgeoning senses of identity. They were establishing themselves as members of fraternities, falling in and out of love, and grappling for control over themselves and others. Many were busy outside of the hall with academics, clubs and friends, but most were spending the majority of their time in their rooms not doing much of anything. They were playing a lot of video games and ordering an obscene amount of pizza. They were also getting into trouble.

We had some real problems on our floor. There were rumors of heavy drug use, parades of women in and out of rooms, and the custodians were harkening the conditions of the bathroom to that of cow barns. Some men were almost in tears because of the unsanitary state of their bathroom, by which they were disgusted and upset. Tensions on the floor were escalating as damage charges rose for things like boxers stuffed into a toilet or vomit in a shower. I spoke to the men on the floor repeatedly about the repercussions their behaviors were having on their community, but they didn’t seem to care. My own frustration was growing, because it appeared that no matter what I said or how many damage reports were written, nothing was getting through to them. From my perspective as an older female who was on the verge of pulling her hair out wishing these men would flush their toilets, it appeared as if there was very little understanding on their part in regards to how their behaviors might be impacting those around them. What I didn’t understand was that from their perspective, I was just some chick in a blue polo barking orders at them. I didn’t know who they were yet I was demanding they behave appropriately. They had no personal investment in their community or maintaining the hall and even worse, I had no personal investment in them as young men.

I couldn’t place my finger on exactly why they were acting out, so I asked one resident with whom I talked frequently what was going on after noticing his door tags were ripped off his door. His friend laughed and replied, “He did it when he was wasted.” I wanted to know why he ruined his door tags: why not the anonymous posters, or something else in the hall? He replied, “I hate it here. I don’t want people to know I live here.” His honesty was shocking and refreshing. As I learned from a recent interview with Peter Paquette, Assistant Dean of Student Integrity at Georgia Institute of Technology, when we give young men the freedom and permission to express themselves in a safe environment, we often receive honest answers. In that moment, I learned about something critical happening with my residents because he was able to safely share with me without fear of judgment or recrimination.

I realized I had to figure out a way to engage them fast. A weekly pizza party wasn’t going to fulfill the requirements of the Residence Life department, nor was it going to give the men valuable life skills beyond who could grab the most slices and run away the fastest. It became my goal for the semester to ensure that the men in my building knew that as their Resident Assistant and fellow student, I wanted them at the programs that were being held. I wanted to know who they were as students, as individuals and most importantly, as men. They had to be allowed the space to be who they were as men within their home, which from August until May was the residence hall, but to also make it so they were not being detrimental to those around them.

I learned that there were a lot of assumptions being made about the men on my floor and in the building. I heard things being said like, “We don’t bother programming for guys, because they won’t come anyway,” and “Men don’t like programs.” Therefore, based on these beliefs and assumptions, no programs or attempts to engage men on my floor were being offered. Unfortunately, as we have learned, “false assumptions about boys and men reinforce our denial about college men’s problems,” which allows a sore spot to grow into a festering wound of misunderstanding (O’Neil & Crasper, 2011, p. 93)

The problems that arise from these misunderstandings, which have ultimately fed into a “boys will be boys” mentality, have enabled men to develop and perpetuate undesirable and detrimental behaviors that harm themselves and their communities. We can most likely agree that these behaviors are not good, unsafe and upsetting, not only for the men but also for those in the community they reside in or those they interact with and yet very little is currently being done to prevent these behaviors from perpetuating. It is my belief that we have a responsibility not to make assumptions about what men want or what they will do, but rather provide them with the same resources and opportunities we provide to all students.

When I envisioned my Valentine’s Day program, I didn’t yet have the understanding I do now of the challenges facing college men. I knew I wanted them included, attending my programs and I didn’t want them grabbing cookies and leaving. I used the opportunity to reach out to the campus police department, and invited two of the officers to join us. The interactions they shared with the residents that evening proved to be more than I could have hoped for. The students were able to engage with the officers as positive mentors and role models and the program created a safe space in which they could positively interact with one another.

Following this program, I noticed I was able to have a better rapport with many of my male residents and the ability to have more candid and meaningful conversations with them about what was happening within our community and about their own personal development. While the issues our community were experiencing were not resolved overnight, things did begin to improve. When I spoke to my residents, they listened and had more investment about what was happening within their community. They continued to come to programs and they encouraged other residents to attend. One athlete in particular would do a round of the floor prior to programs and pound on doors, demanding that his teammates come out to support the event. And perhaps most excitingly, my co-Resident Assistant and I were finally able to convince them to flush their toilets - about 85% of the time, anyway.

References:

O’Neil, James M., and Crasper, Bryce. (2006) Using the Psychology of Men and Gender Role Conflict Theory to Promote Comprehensive Service Delivery for College Men. Masculinities in Higher Education. (iPad Mini Version) Retrieved from iTunes.com

About the Author:

Chelsea Castonguay is an Academic Support Coordinator in the Department of Residence Life at the University of Maine. She completed her undergraduate work at UMaine in English and is currently pursuing a Master's in Student Development in Higher Education there.

Men’s Fear of Femininity: Discussing the Media’s Perceptions of Masculinity with College Men

From early childhood into adulthood, young people are constantly bombarded with media advertisements showing them what behaviors are and are not socially acceptable. Advertisers push negative gender norms into the homes, residence halls, bars, and fraternity houses of our college men. Take into consideration the highly controversial Dr. Pepper 10 commercial, which presents its product in a hyper-masculine way. This commercial gives a stereotypical view of what it means to be a man. Thankfully, with some negatively stereotyped commercials, there are also positive ones that exist. Guinness, a popular beer company, recently released a heartwarming commercial with positive role models of masculinity. One way or another, both commercials address the fear of femininity many young men face today. This blog post serves to provide higher education professionals a way to confront negative male gender norms with a group of young men.

            Davis, LaPrad, and Dixon (2011) promote the use of men’s groups on college campuses to educate young men about male gender norms. The important keys to this chapter are education and communication in a group setting. Although presenting the Dr. Pepper and Guinness commercials on an individual basis may be helpful in talking about masculinity, confronting this issue via media might be more effective within a men’s group. The authors claim “the men’s group movement has been an attempt to provide the space for men to reflect on socially prescribed roles and help men reach a healthier, self-authored identity” (Davis, LaPrad, & Dixon, 2011, p. 152). This setting allows young men to talk about what they observe in the two commercials; at the same time, higher education professionals can educate them about masculinities. According to the authors, a great way to spark conversations “about hegemonic masculinity is to use commercials, television shows, and popular movies to illustrate how messages about gender are sold” (Davis et al., 2011, p. 155).

            Davis (2004) states, “using entertainment media to deconstruct powerful sex-role messages is an ideal method for promoting learning about gender identity development” (Davis, 2004, p. 50). Although Davis focuses on this learning in a classroom setting, I believe his methods could apply to something like a men’s group meeting. By showing the different ideas of masculinities presented in the Dr. Pepper and Guinness advertisements, perhaps student affairs professionals can explain society’s influence on young men, which often reinforces negative gender norms. Davis (2004) encourages educators to have their students critique the media, such as our commercials, in order to become “a critical consumer of potentially dysfunctional messages” (Davis, 2004, p. 52). In order to demonstrate this idea, I have critiqued and compared the Dr. Pepper and Guinness commercials in regards to their presentations of femininity.

            The main difference of these two commercials is how they each portray men’s fear of femininity. Kimmel and Davis (2011) give a brief overview of O’Neil’s gender role conflict, which basically states that people learn from society how to act based on their gender. They claim that “at the heart of men’s conflict is the fear of femininity” (Kimmel & Davis, 2011, p. 7). According to this fear, anything that may appear to be a feminine act lessens a man’s masculinity. To be a part of the male gender, men cannot show emotions or compassion and must act tough and strong (Kimmel & Davis, 2011). Kimmel and Davis (2011) stress that any sign of weakness makes men seem less ‘manly.’ By watching these commercials in men’s groups, higher education professionals can show college men how the fear or acceptance of femininity play out in each commercial.

            The Dr. Pepper 10 commercial takes place in a stereotypical action adventure movie.^[1] The characters are dressed in army fatigues, have ridiculously large laser guns, flaunt their strong muscles, and yell at the audience in their deep overpowering voices. The main character directs his dialogue to women. After asking them if they are enjoying the movie, the character assumes the female audience is unimpressed. He claims that “this is our movie,” meaning a movie for men (Jakthelombax mar, 2011). He then goes on to say that Dr. Pepper 10 is a man’s drink—even with its fewer “manly calories… It’s what guys want” (Jakthelombax mar, 2011). After a few more explosions, the commercial ends with the sentence, “Dr. Pepper 10, it’s not for women” (Jakthelombax mar, 2011).

[Insert Video #1 link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zza3GqEL5B0]

            The main takeaway from this commercial is the constant fear of femininity. According to the Dr. Pepper 10 commercial, men that drink Diet Dr. Pepper are more ‘manly’ than those who abstain. The overuse of violence in this commercial assumes all young men are obsessed with trucks, guns, and big explosions. According to societal gender norms, all these things are the farthest from feminine. Through violent acts men step away from the feminine and towards the masculine. It is upsetting that advertisers believe the only way to get men to buy their product is by constantly reaffirming it is not a “lady drink” (Jakthelombax mar, 2011). At every turn of this commercial, there is reassurance that Dr. Pepper 10 is not a feminine drink. This commercial reinforces the fear of femininity in two ways. First, the commercial exploits violent acts and images. Second, it promotes the beverage as ‘manly’ or not for women.

            In contrast, Guinness presents an uncharacteristically heartfelt beer commercial.^[2] Viewers would not know they are watching a beer commercial until the last few seconds of the commercial. The first scene begins in the middle of a fierce, yet good-hearted wheelchair basketball game. The young men in the wheelchairs are shown crashing into one another and falling to the ground, while yelling encouragements at teammates. As the game ends, all the men but one get out of their wheelchairs and leave the gym together. This simple commercial has little to no dialogue between characters, rather there is a man voicing-over with these simple words: “Dedication, loyalty…friendship” (Guinness, 2013). The commercial ends with the young men all gathered in a bar drinking Guinness, while the voiceover continues, “the choices we make reveal the true nature of our character” (Guinness, 2013).

[Insert Video #2 link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au8Y98Rgxbk]

            As opposed to the Dr. Pepper commercial, the Guinness advertisement seems to reject traditional hegemonic views of masculinity because the characters embrace weaknesses and emotions. It shows young men that being disabled is not a form of weakness, while emphasizing the fact that young men should not be discouraged by feeling weak or helpless. The young men that are not disabled accept their friend’s disability, and the weakness his disability produces by playing basketball in wheelchairs. Even though there is a sense of competitiveness, this quality is not presented in a negative light. Essentially, the commercial promotes an emotional connection between close male friends, feelings usually reserved for women. Although playing basketball and going for beers promote a distinct form of masculinity, the characters of this commercial also show emotional connection with one another. This connection is never explicitly stated, but silently understood. The most important part of this commercial is the statement, “The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character” (Guinness, 2013). This message encourages young men to be better than society’s strictly enforced gendered roles.

            With these critiques in mind, student affairs professionals can present these two commercials to young men and gauge how they feel masculinity was displayed in each. Engaging in conversation about the differences between these two commercials can show young

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^[1] It must be noted that this commercial attempts to get men drinking diet soda drinks, which could be better for their health. Regardless, I think the ulterior message gets lost in the overbearing nature of the characters and the situation.

^[2] It must be noted that the act of playing basketball and drinking beer depicts a specific type of masculinity, but I believe the message behind this commercial is stronger than the generalized masculinity. This commercial is not perfect, but compared to the Dr. Pepper commercial could be a better model for young men in the long run. 

References

Davis, T. (2004). Using entertainment media to inform student affairs teaching and practice

            related to sex and gender. New Directions for Student Services, 2004, 49-59.          Doi: 10.1002/ss.141

Davis, T., LaPrad, J., & Dixon, S. (2011). Masculinities reviewed and reinterpreted: Using a         critical approach to working with men in groups. In J. A. Laker, & T. Davis (Eds.),        Masculinities in higher education: Theoretical and practical considerations (pp. 147-            160). New York, NY: Routledge.

Guinness. (2013, September 9). Guinness basketball commercial [video file]. Available from

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au8Y98Rgxbk

Kimmel, M. S., & Davis, T. (2011). Mapping guyland in college. In J. A. Laker & T. Davis           (Eds.), Masculinities in higher education: Theoretical and practical considerations (pp.      3-15). New York, NY: Routledge.

Jakthelombax mar. (2011, November 30). Dr Pepper TEN action commercial [video file].            Available from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zza3GqEL5B0

Marie Elena Castellano is currently a first-year graduate student in the University of Maine’s Higher Education Program. She graduated from the Catholic University of America in May 2013 with a BA in History. She serves as the Graduate Assistant for the Higher Education Program at UMaine. In this position, she assists with program recruitment and faculty research.You can connect with Marie Elena on Twitter @lenacast91

Role Modeling In College Males

Lebron James, Drew Brees, and Sidney Crosby; what do these males have in common? We could answer this with the simple statement that they are all incredible athletes; but are they more than superstars?  What if Batman and Superman were added to this question?

Athletes are becoming modern-day superheroes.  They redefine impossible with blazing speed and incredible strength.  These professionals link communities together allowing individuals of different races and socioeconomic statuses to share a common interest.  Sports are popular for males of all ages. They are a source of primetime entertainment.  Watching athletes nail a three-pointer or hit the game winning home run bring males excitement.  Talking about sports allows males to signify their manhood (Kimmel, 2008).  They allow males to show passion, love, and heartbreak. Most importantly, athletics give males a chance to exit the real world; similar to cinemas during the Great Depression. No matter how tough times are, sports can take individuals minds off of the obstacles they are facing and give them relief from reality.  Most importantly, professional athletes become role models for children.  Adolescent males strive to be just like their favorite athletes.  They will eat specific brands of cereal to because their favorite player is advertising it on television.  Children practice celebration dances so they can use them at their next game. Males are mimicking athletes hoping to one day be a superhero.

With an increasing need for role models in the world, athletes are becoming the answer to this problem; but should they be the answer?  As a male who was highly involved in new student orientation and club sports, I have noticed that there is an increasing popularity of male students labeling athletes as their primary role models.  It is a phenomenon that is intriguing to me. For young men, sports knowledge is essential; “If you are an informed citizen, you win the admiration and respect of your community” (Kimmel, 2008, p. 140).  Sports give students common ground and a code to live by (Kimmel, 2008).  The respect of a college male’s peers could be one of the reasons why athletes are studied and admired.  This trend could also be linked to the divorce rate and pre-marriage childbirth.  With these trends on the rise, athletes may be the most realistic role models in an adolescent male’s life.  Regardless of the cause, many college males seek empowerment from professional and college superstars.

Personally, I was guilty for 21 years labeling an athlete as a role model.  Through adolescence and the beginning years of emerging adulthood, my idol was Brett Favre.  My eyes were glued to the TV anytime he was on the football field.  I cheered him on for every touchdown and listened to every word he spoke during post-game press conferences as if he was speaking to me.   Favre’s impact on me went further than his dominance on the field; it was his ability to overcome adverse situations that stood out to me.  He would selflessly fight through the pain of a broken thumb or ankle and lead his team to victory.  The resilience Favre presented by throwing four touchdowns the day after his father died inspired me to become mentally stronger.   Favre was my role model, and I did not see any problems with that. However, it dawned on me the day Favre retired; who will inspire me now?   When I am in a rough patch, who will be the person to give me advice?  I could not call him, nor could I watch him in weekly press conferences.

This is one of the obstacles with males accepting professional athletes as primary role models; they are temporary.  Athletes can motivate you by their breathtaking performances or graceful press conferences, but will never be there to support students in everyday life.  “As student affairs professionals, we need to help these male students find role models that allow individuals to engage in intimate conversations” (T. Wells, personal communication, September 5, 2013).  College males need validation from upperclassmen, professional staff, or local successors in the institutional environment to give students quality direction and advice. Furthermore, it is why we need to find role models for males early into their higher educational experience.  Validation is most influential at the beginning of a student’s college experience (Evans, Forney, Guido, Patton, & Renn, 2010).  Focusing on the first-year experience will allow higher educational institutions to promote this movement.

            In reflection of my first year in college, I realize that the absence of a role model delayed my potential. I did not have anyone in the community that could give me advice on academics or allow me to share my emotions. For the first three years of college I did not have a role model. As a student who had a high grade point average and multiple national championships in powerlifting, it did not seem like a role model would have affected me. However, I had an Achilles heel; I had no clue what my occupation would be after college. Entering my first senior year, I changed my major eight times ranging from business to biology. At the time, I was planning to apply to physical therapy school, but I was still not confident in choosing that path.

            I survived three and a half years of college with Brett Favre as my primary role model but I did not develop emotionally nor did I have a clear future.  With graduation three semesters away, I applied to become an orientation leader for a final leadership opportunity. With that said, I realize I was fortunate because they only choose 35 students a year to be orientation leaders. It was here that I met the university’s orientation director, Paul.  He was different than any higher education professional I had ever met.  Paul noticed that I built a wall to hide my emotions.  Throughout the year, he challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone by participating in activities that would make me feel vulnerable.  Paul supported me through my academic struggles and comforted me after my own father’s death. In my fourth year of college, I finally received a role model. With Paul as my mentor, I grew more in three semesters than the first 7 combined.  Furthermore, I was confident in choosing student affairs as a career path.  

            This is why it is important to reach out to males in their first-year as a college student. Upperclassmen and student affairs professionals can penetrate emotional walls to allow first-year males to be comfortable with their personal identities.  We can build a foundation to help males adequately prepare for careers outside of college.  Also, forming close bonds with these students and professionals allow young males to have role models who are available to support and motivate them through their endeavors.  Most importantly, creating unique bonds with mentors will educate these young males on the importance of role modeling, thus motivating these young students to become role models when they become more experienced in college.  This will result in more available role models in a college institution.  Star athletes may be appropriate role models for young children but in emerging adulthood, upperclassmen and student affairs professionals can become superheroes for these young males.       

References

Evans, N., Forney, D., Guido, F., Patton, L., & Renn, K. (2010). Student development in college: Theory, research, and practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Kimmel, M. (2008). Guyland: The perilous world where boys become men. New York, NY: HarperCollins.

Cameron Barrilleaux is a first-year student in the Student Development in Higher Education graduate program at the University of Maine where he is the GA for Leadership Development in the Campus Activities and Student Engagement Office.  He graduated from the University of Louisiana, Lafayette in May 2013.  You can engage Cameron on Twitter @CaminMe.