Reflections on the Conference for College Men

I had the opportunity to attend the 2013 Conference on College Men (CCM) hosted by Miami University. I wanted to share some reflections regarding my experiences with the CCM.

As this was my second opportunity to attend a CCM, I’m aware that many of the conference attendees arrive at this field due to one particular area of personal or professional interest—we are the scholars (whether we learned from personal experiences and/or the classroom) on sexual assault prevention, outreach and retention of multicultural males, sexual health, gender identities and performance, conduct and crisis education, fraternity life, LGBTQA advocacy and several other initiatives and projects. We have grown through these experiences to desire new dialogues in our postsecondary culture. I think attending this conference has helped me know that we are all looking for the same things: we want our male students, and quite honestly all students, to be their best authentic self each day. Before the CCM, I mentioned how difficult it is to talk at times with other conferences attendees regarding the numerous and diverse interests or job requirements within this field. I anxiously hope that those through lines show themselves as I talk to others as I may have not read about, committed time to, or lived a particular aspect of college men and masculinities. All of our concentration areas in work and personal commitments at this conference showed a desire for students to be their authentic self; I think we believe that most students are good people and good people don’t harm self or others. We hope our students push the social expectations dictated to them from a pillar of requirements to a pool of critical examination. Some of the crisis we see with our male students come from types of harm to self or others; sexual assault, poor academic performance, unhealthy wellness habits, conflicting self-images, emotional trauma, and many other documented areas. I heard of all many accounts of poor outcomes that our male students arrive at during the CCM; however, I heard many of the positive acts our male students do at the same time. That positive perspective was valued at the CCM and I hope will continue on.

I have been in thought about the possibility of transcendent cognitive, affective, or behavioral acts that elicit the outcomes that we desire to experience as postsecondary professionals. What I mean is that perhaps there are through lines of action that take place in our work with students that we would desire of any student or any form of gender performance. Common culture will tell us we want our boys and our men to be tough, strong, kept together, smart, sexually equipped, athletic, charismatic, and everything else that Superman, a CEO, or MVP would tell us to become. Perhaps we can utilize some of these ideas to shape the conversations we have with our male students. At the CCM, I think this conversation has shifted. We no longer ask male students to toughen up; we now ask them to develop resiliency. Resiliency is an “everybody” skill. When we talk about toughening up it’s about boxing up and closing off. Resiliency is about the ability to cope with, adapt to, and overcome challenges. We no longer challenge our students on their emotional disclosure; we now support emotional literacy and competence as a positive trait. We just need better words to use with others. We just need better behaviors to live with others. We just need better societal thoughts to understand others. Carlos asked us to move from celebrate people—not antagonize people. Dr. Heasley explored with us monolithic sexual ideologies from a pluralistic perspective. These are the conversations that will shape our field moving forward. These are the “betters.” They are simple and complex all at the same time and are the reason why an individual or entire organization can rebrand our work with college men and masculinities. Maybe these rebranding moments will encourage those as the only advocate at their institutions to make a high impact in a small, well defined area. Reshaping our dialogues, finding those through lines of action within our work in higher education, and finding those transcendent acts may be the key to our path moving forward.

Michael DuPont currently serves as a Hall Director at Iowa State University. His interests within men and masculinities lie within the education process of higher education professionals, practice and policy analysis with gendered lenses, recruitment and engagement of male students, and societal and culture based gender scripts. Those interested in the topic of men and masculinities in general can connect with Michael via e-mail at dupont@iastate.edu.

Knuckleheads in Nepantla: College Male Masculinity at the Crossroads

          In terms of the number of conduct code violations committed in a given year at my institution, males typically outnumber females two to one.  In conversations with fellow conduct administrators across the country, this is also anecdotally true at the vast majority of campuses.  Without excusing the conduct, a former supervisor categorized male behavior in terms of the “truly dangerous” and that which was “typical, male, knucklehead behavior.”  An avid hunter, he likened the behavior to what he saw in the field amongst male deer that had an overabundance of hormones but no clue as to how to act in most settings.

            Many of the men I see in my office appear to have committed violations of the conduct code out of a need to conform to a heteronormative and stereotyped vision of masculinity.  This is evidenced by some of the reasons given for violating policy; “I wanted to be one of the guys,” “I thought people would think I was a pussy if I didn’t drink as much as them,” “I hit him because walking away would make me less of a man.”  This also plays out in many instances of male on male harassment and hazing as victims are made to feel marginalized by being called “fag” or told to “man up and take what’s coming”.

            Men I encounter in the course of my position also have the ability to verbalize that they did not necessarily want to act in the way they did but feel that their male peers with whom they are attempting to form bonds or females they are attempting to impress expect it of them.  I would not go as far as saying that, “society is to blame,” but do think that socially constructed ideals of masculinity play a large role in the behavior of many traditional aged college men.  In an attempt to deconstruct those ideals I have become enamored by a theory that at first may seem oddly placed in its use with masculinity.

            While her writings focus mainly on Chicana cultural theory I am quite taken by the writing of Gloria Anzaldúa, particularly the concept of nepantilism she introduces.  Nepantla, a Nahuan (Aztec) word meaning “torn between ways”, when applied to men who violate university policy as a result of attempting to live up to a socially constructed ideal of masculinity gives name to the imbalance these men feel between who they are and who they attempt to be.  James Maffie describes nepantla as, “in the middling, oscillating tension betwixt and between order and disorder…because of this, it is unstable, fragile, treacherous, and fraught with peril.” Anzaldúa and Maffie also both speak of the concept using the term “crossroads”.  The men I see are clearly at a crossroads, struggling between the internally and externally influenced selves.

            In her work Gender Trouble, Judith Butler defines gender as, “a set of repeated acts within a highly rigid regulatory frame.”   She further states that, “Heterosexuality is naturalized by the performative repetition of normative gender identities.”   Many of the men I encounter because of conduct violations appear to be “performing” in the sense that they are likely not aware of acting out in ways that are stereotypically masculine.  They are performing a gender type without awareness of either the act or the consequences it can bring, particularly in the realm of student conduct violations.

            In addition to aiding in the oppression of men who identify as gay, a heteronormative masculine concept can marginalize straight men who do not meet that idealized, socially constructed standard.  Many of the men with whom I meet state that they are acting out in ways that play against what they view as their true self.  This is a representation of the “mask” theory espoused by Edwards and Jones.  The theory echoes the aspects of embedded expectations in that many of the men in the study stated that, “they had been aware of these expectations throughout their entire memory of consciousness.”  Edwards and Jones speak of the masks men put on to conform to those socially constructed expectations.

            The authors comment directly on the overrepresentation of men in university student conduct systems citing, “college men’s partying behaviors, such as drinking; doing drugs; competitive, demeaning, or degrading sexual activities; lack of academic effort; and general disregard for institutional policies and procedures”.  Much of this behavior is an attempt to conform to what men feel is expected of them by other men and society in general.

            It is largely this theory that guides my thoughts moving forward from theory to practice.  Edwards and Jones offer implications for student affairs professionals, stating that, “rather than seeing men who party as ignoring social norms or irreverent to authority, instead student affairs educators may understand them, in part, as men who feel trapped by social norms as they understand them and confined by the authority of society’s expectations”. This again points to the struggle occurring within men that must be recognized within the student conduct process.  The authors also caution against the use of penalties or tactics that seek to demean or embarrass men into changing their behavior since they may run counter to the desired effect and cause further negative actions.  They add that helping men leave the performance behind and be comfortable with their own, real identity is a key to intervening with these men.

            A large part of the student conduct process at many campuses is somewhat fixed because of the need to satisfy elements of due process and other legalities.  It is sometimes difficult to truly feel educational within that somewhat constrained process.  Opportunities that we have as student conduct administrator/educators typically come in the area of sanctioning involving the use of reflective papers and the use of follow up meetings with students to discuss their path away from the violation and toward more responsibility and maturity.

            While the majority of conduct offices perform those functions daily I believe it is possible to move beyond them and alter the experience in a way that aids men in moving past the struggle of the crossroads.  Reflective paper assignments can be tailored to encourage men to explore identity and expectations both internally and externally.  Many of the men provide clues to the struggle they face in the context of a hearing when they speak about the desire to fit in as being part of the reason they acted out.  It is important that educators seize these opportunities and put them to use in the sanctioning process. 

A recent example involved a student who spent a great deal of the hearing referencing his time as a member of the Boy Scouts and believed he had learned from the Scouts attitudes and beliefs that ran counter to his behavior.  As a sanction we agreed that he would write a letter to an imaginary scout discussing his behavior during the violation and explaining to the scout how to avoid such behavior.  I fully expected and the student confirmed that this made more of an impact on him than any of the other sanctions he received.

I have had equally good experiences meeting with men in follow up or “probation” meetings after the hearing process concludes.  While these meetings are required they have, for the most part, become sessions that the student states that he looks forward to and I look forward to as well.  They follow a path of reflection over time on how their life has changed since the incident, particularly regarding the choices they make about their behavior.  I think it would be worthwhile to add more focus to these meetings in the context of discussing male identity.  It would also be possible and desirable to find a set of short, accessible readings on male identity, which could guide the discussion.  While these meetings are often individual, it may be useful to combine the meetings into a group format where men could share their thoughts on the changes they have gone through.

While I refer jestingly to “knuckleheads”, it is clear to me that there are very serious struggles going on with college males regarding the management of their identities, both internal and external.  I see this play out in my office on a daily basis and believe that my office and other conduct offices can make changes to work with the population we see the most.

Anzaldua, G. (1997). La concienda de la mestiza. In A. M. Garcia (Ed).,Chicana feminist

thought: The basic historical writings (pp. 270-274). New York, NY: Routledge.

Butler, J. (1990). Gender trouble: Feminism and the subversion of identity. New York, NY:

Routledge.

Edwards, K. E., & Jones, S. R. (2009). “Putting my man face on”: A grounded theory of college

men’sgender identity development. Journal of College Student Development, 50,

210-228.

Maffie, J.  The Centrality of Nepantla in Conquest-Era Nahua Philosophy.  Retrieved from

http://www.enkidumagazine.com/eventos/chimalpahin/art/0001_CH08.htm

Chris Taylor is the Associate Director of Ethics & Student Conflict Resolution at Miami University.  He has been in Student Affairs for over 22 years in a variety of positions in residence life and student conduct. He is currently a third year PhD student in Student Affairs in Higher Education at Miami whose research focuses on men and masculinities. He also serves as the co-chair of Miami's Masculinities Committee.  You can connect with Chris on Twitter through @MU_Masculinity.

Confronting Rape Culture

In reflecting back before I wrote this post, I remember hearing fewer people in my life make "jokes" about rape or make comments supporting rape culture in the last few years. I believe this is due to most of my friends or acquaintances are involved in higer education in some way and have been confronted about how inappropriate comments that support rape culture truly are for the work they are doing (I also avoid the cesspool of comments on YouTube and I turn off the volume of other players when I play video games online). However there have been signs that this trend is not a reflection of the society around me. There have been several incidents over the course of the last few years in which comedians or politicians make jokes that belittle the impact that rape has on survivors or make comments that promote rape culture. One incident that sticks out in my mind, and is most directly relevant, is from Daniel Tosh. The incident involved Tosh telling an audience member that it'd be funny if she was raped. This was written about and put on tumblr and had many responses from social commentators from around the web including one from the Daily Beast.

Fast forward to last week, W Kamau Bell had a segment on his show titled Comic vs. Feminist where Lindy West, a blogger for Jezebel.com, debated with Jim Norton, a comic who is known for his shock value, about whether comedians' can make jokes about rape. 

From my perspective, the basic premise of Jim Norton's argument was that comics have free speech and they need to be able to make jokes about any topic they choose in order to do fill their role. Norton added that comics shouldn't "get in trouble" when they're trying to be funny. Norton then defined trouble as when people get together and encourage advertisers to drop their funding. He claimed that the market should dictate what is on TV and whether advertisers fund certain shows (in my 

Lindy West's point was that we all have the right to call out people when they're contributing to a culture that promotes violence and, more specifically, rape. And calling those people out can and should include some kind of protest that involves holding them accountable to their words by making their sponsors aware of what messages they are sponsoring. 

I was, and still am, fully on the side of Lindy West during the segment and after watching the extended version of the discussion, I thought about how men have these conversations with each other. On one hand I did not think that belittling sexual assault and rape was as present in the world as it was a few years ago. But then I thought back to the work that I do with college men and I was reminded that all students have internalized that, to some extent, men are supposed to be sexually aggressive in order to demonstrate their masculinity. So clearly having dialogues like these are going to continue to be an important piece of confronting masculinity.

Thinking back to the video, Norton's argument mainly came from a place based in free speech and how important free speech is for comics to be able to express themselves fully and not feel stifled. In my opinion, Norton was holding speech as being extremely important but was ignoring the impact that speech has. As I mentioned earlier, West brought up the climate of comedy clubs and how they are perceived as not very inviting and a huge part of that is the power dynamic involved both between genders and between the audience and the comic on stage. Norton was not acknowledging that dynamic or the privilege he carries being a male in society. Men have the ability to shrug off a suggestion or "joke" someone makes about sexual assault or rape because men know that it's very unlikely to happen to them. Sexual assault is, after all, a men's issue. 

So what does this mean for our work with students in addressing their patriarchal masculinity and privileges they are given through that systemic culture? I think it means we need to be able to hold free speech and accountability in both hands in our work with men. We need to be able to help men understand the power that they hold within their free speech and what they can do to hold each other accountable to making our world a more welcoming and including place. I know it's work that most of us are already doing, but in looking at some of the responses Lindy West has gotten on twitter, we clearly need to continue this work. 

I would like to open this up to a discussion because, in my opinion, men are the primary promoters of rape culture and we need it be active in stopping it. What are you doing to help change rape culture in your role? How are you empowering the men around you to confront comments that support rape culture? What can we do to help our students protest people who support this culture? (For instance, someone posted a petition on change.org to remove Daniel Tosh's show, Tosh.0, from Comedy Central's lineup). What programs are your sponsoring or leading that is helping address these constant concerns? How can we incorporate confronting patriarchal masculinity into the increasingly popular Movember? How do we continue to challenge patriarchy despite the contrary influence of organizations like A Voice For Men? How do we discuss the action that Men’s Rights Advocates are taking while ensuring that our work is foundationally different?

The Manpendium: Programmatic Considerations

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I like to read.

Whenever I give people a tour of my (admittedly small) apartment, the first thing I always show them is my bookcase.  Even more than my running paraphernalia or degree, it’s the pride of my living arrangement.  I have it meticulously organized: education books on top, classics and favorite authors (David Foster Wallace and Haruki Murakami feature heavily) below those, fiction on the next, and non-fiction on the final two shelves, with memoirs and military pieces all grouped in their respective places.  

So when I recently read an article that Art of Manliness put out entitled ‘Why Men Should Read Fiction’ it probably shouldn’t be surprising that I quickly started brainstorming about the connections I could make between my reading habit and work with masculinities.  

Now, each of the past two years I’ve facilitated small leadership-based book clubs on The Heart and the Fist, a memoir by Eric Greitens (I’ll spend some more time talking about it below). I love the programmatic side of masculinities and its theories.  After reading that article, my mind went immediately to those book clubs and how I might tailor that model to fit the needs of college men.

But would such an approach work? In a 2008 article Frank Harris III had the following to say:

“...interventions that provide opportunities for men to reflect critically upon their conceptualizations of masculinity and their gender performance are also necessary. Faculty members can provide these opportunities in their courses through journaling assignments, assigned readings, films, guest speakers, and classroom discussions.”

Several of those components look suspiciously like a book club.

A year later, Edwards & Jones (2009) echoed Dr. Harris:

“The results of this study also indicate that academic courses and student affairs programs that raise students’ consciousness of social group identities in general, expose men to historical and literary figures who offer new ways of being a man, and offer alternative versions of masculinity may be effective in helping men begin to transcend the traditional definition of masculinity.”

Emphasis mine.

Clearly there is (research-based) room in our curriculums for a men’s book club.  The trick, then, is getting men to show up. Luckily, we also have Dr. Harris (2008) to thank for addressing that particular issue: “one way to earn credibility among men at WRU is to conform to stereotypical expectations when performing masculinity.”

Obviously, stereotypical masculinity is something we want to avoid in our educational practices. But as Dr. Harris said, it is a way that we can draw men into our programs. As such three of the books below are about war, a fourth is about politics, and a fifth is about baseball. So in this light, I want to suggest these five practical books (and rationale for said books) as a possible curriculum/starting point for a hypothetical men’s book club. Let’s begin.

BOOK SELECTIONS:

Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card

Key Themes: Leading by example; Personal excellence

    Despite its reputation as solely a young adult science fiction novel, Ender’s Game is packed with examples of what it looks like to be a young leader, leading from the front, and making difficult choices.  As the lone piece of fiction on this list, it is also arguably the most accessible.  And thanks to the book spending quite of time with Ender’s inner monologue, there’s plenty of room to dissect the reasoning behind moral quandaries.

The Heart & the Fist - Eric Greitens

Key Themes: Being a “renaissance man”; Masculine development; Integrity

    Let me give you a rundown of what Eric Greitens does in his memoir: 1) he travels abroad three times to three different continents, twice for humanitarian work, all while he’s in college, 2) he becomes a Rhodes Scholar and spends two years at Oxford, and 3) he becomes an officer in the Navy SEALs after deciding he hadn’t done quite enough with his life just yet. But most importantly, he tells all of this in an earnest, unpompous manner that inspires you more than makes you feel guilty. It also happens to line up very well with Chickering & Reisser’s 1st Vector.  

Long Walk to Freedom - Nelson Mandela

Key Themes: Selfless service; Taking action

    Not only is Nelson Mandela’s autobiography and incredible piece of non-fiction and testament to what a man can do when he puts service above all else, it provides a foundation for a lot of difficult conversation. From the racist apartheid policies that Mandela fought against to family issues to taking action and deciding between right and wrong, this book has it all. It’s not a light read by any means, but it is well worth the investment.

Three Nights in August - Buzz Bissinger

Key themes: Authority; Courage

 

    Back in April when I wrote my first blog post on Macklemore and masculinity, I mentioned that I have a habit of idolizing these great figures like Mandela. Three Nights in August is a more happy middle ground. Outwardly this is just the story of three games between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs, but inside it’s a look into the mind of Tony LaRussa, a phenomenal manager and leader of his players. This book would be a great way to attract in men who might not otherwise be big readers.

Dreams from My Father - Barack Obama

Key themes: Identity development; Social Justice

    Where Audacity of Hope is more about political policy, Dreams from My Father is a much more intimate look at the President’s upbringing and development. Much like Mandela’s autobiography, this book uses the narrative structure of Obama’s life to touch on deeper issues such as community involvement, social justice, and race.  Obviously this may be a more controversial choice depending on where you work, but I promise it is a treat regardless of your political leaning.

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There is certainly room for growth. These books can be adapted to fit university missions and learning outcomes.

Book clubs take work. I’ve learned this first-hand. It’s tough to get people interested and even harder to keep that interest for the length of an entire book. However, a book club is the perfect setting to provide men with things they might not otherwise have: a place to be academic, a safe space to talk, and a chance at a heightened sense of empathy. This is an important resource that we can provide our men to help them become the leaders they are capable of becoming.  

Check back later this summer on my personal blog for part two of this post, where I’ll take a look at what a fleshed out masculinities library might look like.

Kevin Valliere (@kevalliere) is a student affairs graduate student at Texas A&M University. He maintains a blog at http://www.kevalliere.com, and can also be reached at vallierekevin@gmail.com.

References:

Edwards, K. E., & Jones, S. R. (2009). Putting my man face on: A grounded theory of college men’s gender identity development. Journal of College Student Development, Vol. 50 (2). 210-228.

Harris III, F. (2008). Deconstructing masculinity: A qualitative study of college men’s masculine conceptualizations and gender performance. NASPA Journal, Vol. 42 (4). 453-474.