Hegemonic Masculinity and Adult Entertainment: Fighting Reinforcement

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A Lifechanging Conference

Garrett is about to enter into his career as an #Sagrad and can be connected with via Facebook: Garrett Spradlin & Twitter:@Garrettsprad

    To go into a conference wanting clarification of if higher education is what your supposed to do for the rest of your life is a very high expectation. It is an expectation that for me was fulfilled by day two.
    I am a senior at the University of Northern Colorado, finishing up my undergraduate career with a new found direction in the career that so many have come to fall in love with. A simple email month’s prior explained that students who wanted to pursue a life in higher education should look at attending NextGen, a conference specific to undergraduate students. It was that very email that led to what I can only explain as a life changing experience.
    I was fortunate enough to not only attend NextGen, but also stay for the week and attend ACPA (American College Personnel Association) in fabulous Las Vegas to explore the world of higher education and student affairs.
    The standing committee on men and masculinities became a big part of my story when they honored me as their recipient of a NextGen Scholarship. This group opened my eyes to a world I never thought I could be a part of. Hesitant to apply for this particular scholarship, I found myself discovering what it meant to collide the identity of a gay male with masculinity, two terms not commonly associated in today’s society.
    I had originally planned to finish my undergraduate degree and really get into a job
within the field to gain experience and then go back to get my masters later on. After
attending the week, that all changed. To the future generations wanting to also pursue a
job within higher education I will tell you there is very little room for students with just
a bachelor’s degree. It has nothing to do with us or how much were involved, or even how
qualified we may be. The fact is that so many others have a higher level of education that put them a step above.
    I am happy to announce that after returning from NextGen and ACPA I was accepted into grad school with an assistantship offer in housing and residential education. Attending the conference really refocused my path. I met amazing, inspiring, and experienced people that genuinely cared
about me. It’s not very often that speakers like Vernon Wall and Kristin Skarie will sit down with you, offer advice, listen, and really follow up on how things are going.
    I met Deans, Vice-Presidents, professors, and even one of the chairs from NYU’s hiring committee. (My dream school to work at.) These are people that have a say in this profession, people who are passionate and love what they do… But more importantly the realization that they were all people who once started where I am now. Those “take aways”, or what Oprah would call “aha moments” were what meant the most to me as a beginning higher ed professional.
    The hardest part of the whole thing was really hearing so many of the fellow NextGen participant’s answer why they were there. Wanting to be a professional chef because you eat food isn’t a reason to be in that profession; much like being in higher ed because you worked for the university in college the last year. I have built such a belief on higher ed and student affairs that continues to be built upon and change with each step.
    We need to get our students understanding that although what there doing is fantastic and obviously takes dedication to be involved, it is the visualization to move forward. We need to ask what do we represent as professionals in this field? For me I believe that there are things that are being done well and things that we need to improve upon. I want students to understand that no matter where they choose to go, higher education is an option and it can be achieved. I promote higher education as a whole and working within a specific university or department is an added bonus
that maybe I can assist them even more.
    ACPA has become an annual routine for the thousands in attendance, maybe to learn what’s trending, or maybe just to reconnect with old friends. I advise you to never forget when it meant something more. I remind you that the student next to you could have been someone like me, looking for guidance. There was a time when you too were excited to apply to grad school and find your calling in the world. As I look back at my journey and now the path I am on, here’s my five fancy tips to the future NextGen participants and maybe a reminder to the experienced.

1) Don’t get overwhelmed: NextGen may have clarified where I needed to go but the confusion of the next step all became a blur. There’s a lot of information and a lot to learn but take what you can and really enjoy it.
2) Go in open minded, willing to change your path and ideas: Others should test the ideas you have. One presentation can rock your world and shake all you thought you knew. For me that was most of the presentations on social justice. It’s all about perception and understanding a deeper level by the end of these professional development conferences.
3) Do it all, as much as you can: Throw yourself in full force. When someone says, “come join us”, just say yes! It’s sometimes tempting to go back to your room, wanting to get a full nights sleep for the next day of sessions, but if you don’t take every opportunity to gain experience while you’re in the element then you will have missed out.
4) Network Network Network: Generally, people see networking as a chance to try to meet people that may become future employers. Although this may be true, I advise you to look at it differently. These are mentors, these are people who have done this already and want to see you succeed. It’s such a privilege to be able to ask questions and learn from the other professionals around you.
5) Do what scares you, that’s where opportunity lies: I knew that there would be people at the conference I knew but I really went to this conference on my own. I had no idea what to expect and that was terrifying, yet so exciting. I knew that I had two options… meet people or be miserable. I put myself out there a lot, but at ACPA it’s appreciated. If we don’t do these types of things that scare us, we will never find the opportunity that it provides. JUST DO IT!

I owe a huge thank you to about a hundred people I met through this experience. I would list you all but you know who you are. I cannot express my gratitude enough and you have forever become a part of my story.

“It does not matter where you go and what you study, what matters most is
what you share with yourself and the world.” -Santosh Kalwar

Opening the Conversation

Dan Tillapaugh, Ph.D.

Postdoctoral Fellow in Higher Education, University of Maine

Chair, Standing Committee on Men & Masculinities 

Connect with Dan on Twitter: @dtillapaugh

“What comes to mind for you when you hear the word ‘masculinity?’”

This is a question I ask in my line of research on gay males and how they make meaning of their multiple identities, specifically their sexual identity and their sense of gender.  The responses I get are always varied, and I constantly am intrigued by the participants’ thoughts on the question.

Some of the gay males have had quick responses; these include: “traditional male gender roles,” “beer and football,” “the straightest straight guy, and aspects that aren’t gay,” “a typical buff male,” “it’s hard to describe, but you can really tell if someone is masculine or not just by their mannerisms, their actions, their interests.”  Some of the males struggle with the question.  At times, there are long pauses or an answer that discusses sexuality instead of gender. 

One of the findings of my study is that the answers around masculinity – or masculinities, rather – is that they are often steeped in hegemonic masculinity.  Often, the participants elaborate and suggest that characteristics of masculinity involve a preoccupation with sports, a sort of toughness, and power.  Almost all of the gay males viewed masculinity as something negative: a sort of confining, restrictive notion on gender.  Yet, in the same breath, they also wanted to be seen as fall into those notions as they were very aware that failure to be seen as masculine equated to being less than by other men.

Admittedly, these findings aren’t anything brand new.  O’Neil’s work on gender role conflict has long described the tensions males experience in the perceptions of others on their sense of masculinity (O’Neil & Crapser, 2011; O’Neil, Helms, Gable, David, & Wrightsman, 2010).  Likewise, the concept of hegemonic masculinity itself is seen as “an unattainable ideal, rather than a biological reality” (Kiesling, 2007, p. 657).  Additionally, the scholarship on homosociality, or the nonsexual attractions of men to others of their same-sex (Bird, 1996, Lipman-Bluman, 1976), provide additional information about the ways in which males’ connections with others are intertwined with the desire to be perceived in ways that will affirm their sense of masculinity.  Certainly, there are many lived anecdotes by my participants, many others, and myself that can also be used to illuminate what happens due to the consequences of not being perceived as following traditionally-held gender norms or expectations.

Learning how hegemonic masculinity is reified and rejected by gay males in college as it relates to their own meaning making of their holistic selves has been an interesting – and at times, fascinating – journey.  Many of the young males with whom I’ve spoken share their narratives about times in which they’ve struggled for feeling included by straight peers, but also gay ones.  One participant told me that he’s never made gay friends because they’ve always told him he’s “too feminine.”  Other males have learned how to perform their gender and fit the societal norms of masculinity almost as master crafters; in other words, they are keenly aware that they are typically perceived to be “straight” by others.  But that comes at a cost as well because of the restrictions they – and others – place on them in terms of their mannerisms, behaviors, and self-concept. 

Engaging in conversations with these young adults, I constantly am struck by the conversations they have with me around their sexuality and gender performance.  When I hear a young gay male talk to me about gender as a social construction, I always get a little bit giddy.  I know that they’re becoming thoughtful about how social constructions of race, gender, and sexuality influence their lives.  The conversations are also equally rich with those who are just beginning to explore aspects of their social identities because for many of these young males, they have never before articulated what masculinity or being male means to them.  At times, they stumble over their words, have long, awkward pauses, or make apologies for not having a “good answer.”  But the dialogue itself is what is worth it.  In all of those moments, I’m asking them – or giving them an opportunity – to think critically about an aspect of their identity, which is bounded up in privilege.  And that’s a real treat for me, personally and professionally.

I say that because it has taken me years to get to a place where I can articulate my own sense of gender, my own definitions of what masculinity (or masculinities) are, and how I see my sense of gender performance playing out in my life.  It’s an ongoing process to reflect on those concepts, and my research has allowed me the space and time to do that work.  I empathize with my participants, and I know that I’m asking them questions that are difficult for most people to answer.  But these are important questions to consider. 

Through my work with the Standing Committee on Men and Masculinities, I have been fortunate to engage in rich dialogues that have transformed the way that I see working on issues pertaining to male-identified college students and the development of masculinities.  The start of this blog serves as a means to continue those dialogues and expand the discourse in our virtual community outside the boundaries of a national convention or a professional development institute.  It is our hope that the contributions that we post here from our colleagues will serve as a spark for a larger conversation that can happen between friends, students, peers, colleagues, and family members.  We hope that this blog will become a place that you engage and take away some important lessons that can influence your own thinking, personally and/or professionally. 

The conversations I have with my participants continue in my mind well after we’ve ended them.  I play them over and over again.  I read their transcripts from time to time as I’m writing, and I’m always struck by something new.  But I’m also left feeling the same feeling that they, as well, are growing, reflecting, and expanding their own sense of self – to be able to answer the questions discussed here in a more personal, articulate way.  Whether they be gay, bisexual, fluid, or straight, cisgender or trans*, it’s important that we continue to open up the spans of our discourse about the notions of masculinities and what that term means to us, personally but also systemically.  That is a conversation that is necessary for mutual understand, critical self-reflection, but also a proactive step in eradicating the harm from patriarchy, heterosexism, and genderism.  I welcome your feedback; let our conversation begin.

References
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Bird, S. R. (1996).  Welcome to the men’s club: Homosociality and the maintenance of hegemonic masculinity.  Gender and Society, 10(2), 120-132.

Kiesling, S. (2007).  Men, masculinities, and language.  Language and Linguistics Compass, 1(6), 653-673, doi: 10.1111/j.1749-818x.2007.00035.x

Lipman-Bluman, J. (1976).  Toward a homosocial theory of sex roles: An explanation of the sex segregation of social institutions.  Signs: Journal of Women and Culture and Society, 1, 15-31.

O’Neil, J. M. & Crapser, B. (2011).  Using the psychology of men and gender role conflict theory to promote comprehensive service delivery for college men: A call to action.  In J. A. Laker & T. Davis (Eds.), Masculinities in higher education: Theoretical and practical considerations (pp. 16-49).  New York, NY: Routledge.

O’Neil, J. M., Helms, B. J., Gable, R. K., David, L., & Wrightsman, L. S. (2010).  Gender-role conflict scale: College men’s fear of femininity.  In S. R. Harper & F. Harris III (Eds.), College men and masculinities: Theory, research, and implications for practice (pp. 32-48).  San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Article of the Month

One of the new initiatives that the Standing Committee on Men & Masculinities is launching is a monthly article discussion.  We are looking to engage you, our members and student affairs colleagues in great and continual dialogue on a variety of topics impacting the students on our campuses and around the world.

Our initial article is:

Kimmel, M. (1994). Masculinity as homophobia: Fear, shame, and silence in the construction of gender identity.  In H. Brod and M. Kaufman (Eds.), Theorizing Masculinities. (pp. 147-151). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage

http://faculty.ucc.edu/psysoc-stokes/Masculinity.pdf.

We would like to provide some guiding questions for this article in order to engage in some great digital dialogue.  Please post your comments or pose your own questions.

• How is masculinity defined on your campus?  Does your geographical location play a role in the definition of masculinity on your campus? If so, how?
• According to Kimmel, American men fear being feminine.  In what ways do you see men avoiding feminism on your campus? Are these issues addressed? If so, how?
• Do you think that faculty, staff, and administration on your campus unintentionally adhere to the idea that "manhood is equated with power"? How so? Could this affect the way that students think about masculinity?
• If masculinity equates power and feminism equates weakness, what are a couple of problems that could develop if this paradigm exists within a student organization?
• Are there resources, programming, or organizations on your campus that educate students about masculinity and feminism? If so, what are they? How do they educate students and why is it significant?
• If homophobia and sexism go hand in hand according to Kimmel, do you think this could explain some (if not most) sexual assault cases on your campus? If so, what is your campus' judicial affairs department, residence life department, or other departments doing to educate men and women about such an issue?
• If running away from the issue of masculinity is not the answer,  then in what ways can professionals in higher education engage college men and women in facing the issue of masculinity?  Have you successfully engaged students in this issue? What were your outcomes?

We hope that you will find lots of ways to engage in this material as well as with one another.