Let me start by saying that I am proud of my fraternity affiliation. I initiated as a member of Phi Kappa Psi at Beloit college in 2005. I was “that guy” in the chapter who served in or ran virtually every committee including: Alumni Relations, Social, Risk Management, Student Government Representative, and Finance. My affiliation meant so much to me that I became a travelling consultant for two years before leaving Headquarter staff to get my masters in Higher Education and Student Affairs.
All of
which is to say though that even though I have immense pride and love for my
affiliation, I don’t always love what I did during that time.
The recent Atlantic
Article highlighted many major issues facing fraternities (and missing
a few crucial issues as well), but this blog posting isn’t about responding
to these articles. My new colleague, Michael
Prinkey (2014), has done an excellent job of that in a previous blog post
for the ACPA Standing Committee on Men and Masculinities.
This post
is about how one can be a part of, even love, a system while simultaneously be
able to engage in critical/challenging conversations around how to improve
individuals, groups, and communities that comprise said system for the benefit
of all involved.
This post
is about diving into promising practices around engaging men in critical
conversations of socialized gender roles for the purposes of promoting
pro-social, healthy, and authentic sense of self as well as community for
fraternity men on college campuses.
This post
is about promoting authenticity, support, and encouraging inclusive space while
navigating a world which cannot lose the momentum it has built in holding
actions and organizations accountable.
What Do I Mean By Critical Gender
Conversation:
This is a
question I get a lot when I talk with other professionals. For the purposes of
this blog entry, I follow bell hooks conceptions of critical theory. I apply
that perspective to my own teaching practices as a means of engaging in
reflective assessment as well as critique of society and culture (Solorzano
& Yosso, 2002; Kinchloe & McLaren, 2002). Activities are varied,
but ought to be cognizant of the following: systemic influences of power and
oppression, intersecting & competing perceptions of masculinity, societal
equity, challenge systems that also promote racism, sexual orientation
discrimination and gender identity discrimination, as well as the cultural
assumptions by the facilitator regarding appropriate and inappropriate norms of
gender. (Harper & Harris, 2010).
Admittedly,
there has been a lot of talk about why gender is an important part of the
conversation, but how can practitioner’s apply the developing field of
masculinities studies to their own programs? Since I am neither a published
author nor someone who has published a dissertation on the topic (yet…), the
rest of this blog posting is based upon the articles I’ve read, my experiences
as a travelling consultant for my fraternity, and my time at the University of
Iowa as part of the Men’s Anti-Violence Council. In all regards, I invite you
to challenge, think critically, and submit your own suggestions in the
comments! I doubt this list will be all encompassing.
1.
It is time to stop shaming fraternity men
– Regardless of how you feel about the interfraternal movement, condemning the
whole community gets you no where as a facilitator. Many programs around
violence prevention either focus solely on men as perpetrators or determine
them helpless against their “biological nature”, there is a natural explicit or
implicit tendency to discount this group of semi-autonomous, self-governing,
(largely) 18 – 21 year old. Jason Laker has written at length about how
damaging “bad dogging” has been for group facilitation and for the learning
outcomes of men (Laker, 2011). None of which means we should discount the fact
that a majority of perpetrators of violence against women and men is other men,
but the quickest way to get fraternity men to tune out any relevant information
is to shame them.
2.
Don’t avoid holding fraternity men
accountable – The flip side of the above argument is the tendency of
facilitators coddling fraternity men. This lets them off the hook for their
explicit perpetuation of violence or implicit support of systems based in
violence through silence. In my travels, I have seen fraternity go from arguing
that they are independent, self governing organizations that should (in the
same breath) be compared and held to the same standards of university managed
student organizations. In my own experiences, if we’re “real” or authentic with
fraternity chapters they respect that honesty. It isn’t always pleasant, but
challenging students to lean into their own dissonance is one of the main ways
to encourage critical thinking (King and Kitchener, 1994).
3.
It’s time to abandon the “frat bro” language
– The “Frat Bro,” popularized by such sites as Total Frat Move, Bro Bible and the American Pie series, is
just one facet of fraternity culture. Moreover, it often represents a higher
socio-economic status, and traditionally white social fraternities of the
Interfraternity Councils (IFC). While many chapter may joke about being “frat
bros,” their representations often times over looks the intersection of race
and class in fraternities. I once advised a student who ultimately ended up
avoiding buying books so he could buy the right shoes, shirts, and alcohol of
his peers not to mention the dues he owed. Even within the interfraternal
movement, we often give short change to the many other types of fraternities
and sororities in existence. In addition to the Interfraternity Council, there
are 11 other organizations that cover a gamut of students from culturally based
organizations to professional and service based organizations, to religiously
affiliated organizations. All have their own processes, procedures, systems,
and expectations. As we continue to focus exclusively on engaging the white,
rich, heterosexual “frat bro” we not only create blinders on our own
assumptions but we lose out on engaging many other communities on college
campuses.
4.
Hegemonic Masculinities not Hyper Masculinity – It seems like a silly point, but I
believe talking about hegemonic masculinities is a more productive place to
lead conversations. When one “blames” hypermasculinity, you have to ask
yourself what masculinity are you expressing too much of? Is it the white,
rich, heterosexual Frat Bro, is it the blue collar worker, the cowboy, the
artist/intellectual, musician, the thug, the scholar, or the token? Media often
informs a lot of what archetypes we think about, but many are incompatible with
each other even as we manifest multiple archetypes within each individual (Harper,
Wardell, and McGuire, 2011). For a great example of the many types of
masculinities, check out the Miller Lite “Man
Law” campaign. Hypermasculinity essentializes a listener’s experience and
also blames men for adopting common masculine narratives taught to them since
birth.
Facilitating a conversation on
hypermasculinty, the process of soliciting
feedback from a particular group about what hypermasculinity means might
reinforce the dominant masculine narrative at the expense of other forms of
masculinity. As a result, it can potentially fail to promote a safe space for
multiple forms of masculinity, leaving men afraid to be open about all of their
passions, goals, and fears.
The lens of hypermasculinity can also shame
dominant narratives as being inherently “wrong.” Case in point, a fraternity
that prides itself on physical strength may display hypermasculine tendencies
through steroid abuse and physical hazing. But weight lifting by itself is not
necessarily unhealthy, and as you challenge men to turn away from
hypermasculine tendencies, they may adopt other crutches (such as alcohol) as
an alternative to what they were trying to prove. Rather than encourage
students to reflect and engage around various forms of privilege (and
intersecting identities that might also confer oppressions), students are more
likely to retreat from the conversation instead.
Hegemonic masculinity is broadly defined as
masculinity in opposition to femininity. It depends upon the prioritization of
certain manifestations of masculinity proven in the eyes of other men. It is
not a deficiency model per se, but it is a compensatory model. Hegemony does
not demand you be the “most manly” man ever, but it does compel you to prove
you are more masculine (in whatever form is socially acceptable to your
community) than other men around you. Klobassa and Davis’ (2009) article in
combination with Edward and Jone’s (2009) demonstrate the effective power of
societal influences on the internal identities of men. Specifically, the heavy
social pressures compel men to mold themselves to traditional narratives of
masculinity that propels them up the ladder of their own social hierarchies. If
that fails, then masculinity can also be proven by degrading those around them
(Kimmel, 2008)
5.
Healthy Masculinities – Healthy
masculinities is rapidly developing a strong institutional and academic support
base (Courtenay, 2010). Rather than situating masculinities on a scale
that promotes considers it only on the two dimensional perspective of excess or
insufficiency, we can instead talk about helpful or harmful behaviors in
multiple dimensions or expressions. Public health programmers have seen
significant gains in a similar model with alcohol consumption called “harm
reduction” (Dimeff, Baer, Kivlahan, & Marlatt, 1999). It moves away
from discussing behaviors in all or nothing perspectives and instead situates
them in terms of their impact on the individual and the community. Talking
about masculinities in this way also allows for traditional norms of
masculinity while also challenging how those norms manifest towards self and
others. Rather than condemn or shame men for not going to seek help, we can
discuss elements of masculinity (such as stoicism and perseverance as an ideal)
and reflect upon how that might contribute towards decreased willingness to
seek mental health support, increased use of drugs and alcohol, or even higher
rates of terminal cases of diagnosable diseases due to failure to go to a
doctor. All of these elements we can see as unhealthy actions, without giving
up an individual’s preference for perseverance as an internal strength.
6.
Know Your Audience’s Language – At
interviews, conferences, and workshops, I’ve always been asked by campus
professionals who are not Greek “How can I connect with them?” My first
response is that as much as fraternity men think their situation is unique, the
problems they face are fairly common to many students. On the other hand, there
is a great deal of social capital vested in the language, processes, and
history of the interfraternal movement. Speaking in terms of leadership,
autonomy, values, and ritual has resonance. If you do not have fraternity
experience yourself, it is not difficult to find analogous experiences in your
own life.
7.
Be Inclusive – Not enough can be said
about this. Even when a “predominant number of crimes” are committed by men
against women, highlighting gender neutral pronouns both de-antagonizes
participants, but also models how to promote inclusivity at least in language.
Further, the same mechanisms that fuel hegemonic masculinities also reinforce
racism, homophobia, and trans*phobia as being “outside the norm” of rich,
white, heterosexual “frat bro” masculinity (Wagner, 2011; Harper, Wardell,
& McGuire 2011)
8.
Pro-feminism is not anti-masculinities –
The critical study of gender owes its intellectual foundations to the feminist
movement. While I could write a whole blog post about the nuances of labeling
one self a feminist, pro feminist, humanist, etc. For the purposes of this post
though, I personally stress in my programming that gender equity is an issue
for everyone and cannot be seen in isolation of other issues in our society. I
categorically reject that feminism is bad for men even as I remain cognizant of
my privilege of being a cisgender, white, heterosexual male in the movement and
in classroom spaces.
9.
Bystander Education is a Must – Talking
about issues is good, understanding issues is better, acting to create a more
inclusive fraternal community is the best. Every program, discussion, or
exercise must contain some sort of take away or action point. Research on reflective learning stresses the
importance of putting into action what one has learned and reflecting on the
outcomes (King & Kitchener, 1994). Bystander education has
demonstrated particular effectiveness in preventing sexual assault, hazing, and
other harmful behaviors (Vladutiu, Martin, & Macy, 2011; Berkowitz, 2011;
Langford, 2008). By moving away from shaming masculinity towards a model of
healthy masculinities, we decrease the barriers against men speaking out to
other men to promote positive outcomes (Carlson, 2008)
10. Environment
Matters – Even when men self-identify as advocates for social change,
environment remains a critical factor for whether they intervene and talk with
other men. When it comes to addressing sexual assault paired with healthy masculinities,
there are a few elements that stand out. Groups need safe space, most often
created when all of the participants are able to have at least some time as a
homogenous group. The facilitator’s affinity (gender, sexual orientation,
participation in fraternity and sorority life) is less important, but the
facilitator must be willing to model authenticity and be willing to tolerate
some initial push back. Longer sessions tend to have better impact, especially
when students are able to interact with each other and their material. Multiple
sessions allows for more material to be covered and reinforced. Small groups
tend to produce more openness (Banyard, Plante, & Moynihan, 2005; Casey
& Ohler, 2012).
As I introduced this blog, this
list is by no means exhaustive. It is meant to start a dialogue. I believe that
fraternities are like an echo chamber. They can echo the best parts of being a
student or the worst. Rather than get caught up in a debate over whether they
are worth while or if they donate enough money, I would rather see them become
the vehicles of positive change that many men and women have found them to be.
I believe that the terms “Be A Man,” “Man Up,” “Don’t be a pussy,” “No Homo”
and others are destroying the fabric of our fraternities and sororities.
The great news is that if these
organizations echo society at large and hegemony is itself a social construct,
then we can change the nature of the construct. Change the dialogue, change the
world!
About the Author
Jacob Oppenheimer is a proud member of Phi Kappa Psi and
served his fraternity in a number of capacities, including two years as a
Leadership Development Consultant for the national headquarters staff. He
earned his masters degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs at the
University of Iowa where he served as the graduate assistant in Fraternity and
Sorority Life, coordinator of the Men’s Anti-Violence Council, and the interim
Academic Counseling Coordinator of TRiO Student Support Services. He now serves
as the Assistant Director of Fraternities, Sororities, and Independent Living
Groups (FSILG) at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
You can reach him at Jacob.a.oppenheimer@gmail.com
or follow him on twitter at @jacoboppenheimr.
He can also be found on facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jacob.a.oppenheimer
